Yeah, remember that saying? It doesn't work! I can't diet. Well, I mean, I can attempt dieting, but it doesn't work. It used to work. It worked as of two years ago. But it doesn't work anymore. Unless you count losing five pounds in eight weeks successful. That is .625 pounds a week. Who aspires to that?
It could because I am 37 and my metabolism is shutting down. Which would make sense except I have two large zits on my face and who gets zits at age 37? Me, apparently. And not just little pinprick zits, but big ugly under the skin painful zits.
And I have no toenail. Well, I have like a millimeter of a big toenail now, but it has been three months since my big toenail removal fiasco and if it is going to only grow a millimeter every three months it will take five years to grow back.
However, in five years at .625 pounds a week of weight loss I will have lost 162.5 pounds. Which is impossible, but I really like to look at the bright side of things.
And maybe my zit will be gone by then, too.